Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement..As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem"...

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.. "Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should.. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until some time later...

Beautiful story updated by my cousin on FB...Its so true!!!
Once there was a king who received a gift of two magnificent falcons from Arabia. They were peregrine falcons, the most beautiful birds he had ever seen. He gave the precious birds to his head falconer to be trained.

Months passed by and one day the head falconer informed the king that though one of the falcons was flying majestically, soaring high in the sky, the other bird had not moved from its branch since the day it had arrived.

The king summoned healers and sorcerers from all the land to tend to the falcon, but no one could make the bird fly. He presented the task to the member of his court, but the next day, the king saw through the palace window that the bird had still not moved from its perch. Having tried everything else, the king thought to himself, "May be I need someone more familiar with the countryside to understand the nature of this problem." So he cried out to his court, "Go and get a farmer." In
the morning, the king was thrilled to see the falcon soaring high above the palace gardens. He said to his court, "Bring me the doer of this miracle." The court quickly located the farmer, who came and stood before the king. The king asked him, "How did you make the falcon fly?" With his head bowed, the farmer said to the king, " It was very easy, your highness. I simply cut the branch where the bird
was sitting."

We are all made to fly -- to realize our incredible potential as human beings. But instead of doing that, we sit on our branches, clinging to the things that are familiar to us. The possibilities are endless, but these remain undiscovered. One conforms to the familiar, the comfortable, the mundane. Life then tends to be mediocre instead of exciting, thrilling and fulfilling.

Moral of the story, thus, is to destroy the branch of fear we cling to and free ourselves to the glory of flight.

Recieved an email forward with this intersting story, thought should be put up here!
I was first introduced to "R" by a common friend on Orkut in 2006. She was located in US at that time. We exchanged notes (scraps) with some "comments" here and there. Soon we started chatting with each other. She shared her experiences in US and how she wished she could come back to India.

As time passed, I saw her change jobs, experiment in the kitchen, her travels to different places, and all this just over the Internet. You know, I sometimes wonder how life would be without internet! Its an amazing invention!!! I had also seen another side of R...the very helping and caring nature. Everytime she came down to India during her yearly vacation, she would kindly oblige to all her friends' requests of gadgets, gifts... Infact, once I had casually mentioned about different kinds of muffin paper cups available in US. She promptly brought them for me and even couriered them to me. I was amazed!

In May 2010, R came back to India for good. She got a good career oppourtunity and her parents were keen that she come back. Once she was here, she promptly updated me with her new number. We did speak to each other a couple of times.

One day I recieved an invitation for her brother's marraige. I had made up my mind to attend the wedding as it would have been a great opportunity to meet her in person. I was excited! However, something had come up and I had to go out of station. Dissapointed, I called up R, however as soon as she picked the call, she said I hope to see you at the wedding. I couldnt tell her I wasn't going to make it.

I made up my mind to visit her before I left for my trip. I picked up a bouquet for her and her brother. I told her I was going to come to see her. She gave me the directions and I reached her house. She was waiting for me near the gate. It was so nice to see her in person for the first time in 4 years! It never felt like I hadn't ever met her in person.

Her house was full of relatives and she introduced me to each one of them. I was overwhelmed. I know some people who never went that extra mile! She then took me to her room and showed me all the wedding shopping that she had done. She even opened a box of gold jewellary and showed. I sat there thinking, this is a person I had never met in person and here she was treating me as though we knew each other since childhood. She was like an open book without any inhibitions of meeting a person for the first time.

It reminded me of a girl, whom I knew very well. "RR" was getting married, and my husband and I decided to go and check on the marraige preparations. I mean, that is what you do when close friends get married, don't you? Anyhow, we felt lost because she was in no mood to discuss anything. A few days later, we went back to give her a present which we wanted to give her for the wedding. "RR" seemed quite busy to even sit down for 5 mins and engage in a conversation. We just ignored it thinking she might be under premarital stress.

However, sitting in R's room, amidst all the chaos of relatives and carpenter work, she took out time to show me the shopping she had done for her brother's wedding. And she is the girl I was meeting for the first time, in person! Its not that she wanted to show off her possessions, she felt connected and wanted to share them with me. She made me realize its not about how often you meet the person, its about how much you value them! She surprized me....
A very intersting story forwarded by my mother.


A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

Many times in life you do come across situations which break you down completely. You start questioning your existence, your thoughts, your perception about things/people, etc. The circumstances make you think that you are not worthy of anyone's time & love. But its situations like this, which really brings out your inner strength. Its the decision you make in such situations which show your inner power. People may drop you out of their lives, people may crush you in guilt, people may push you into self-questioning, but WTF..look at the minds of such people. Who are they? What are they? Watch their thoughts..watch their inner strength.. Why should such people who dont have purity of thoughts and actions affect a pure soul like you? Not worth it..dont you think?

I stand on my ground. No matter what situation I am in, I always do what I should do and not what I could do. It might cost me a friendship, a love, a job, maybe a life, but I always do what is the right thing to do. I value my thoughts, I'm proud of my courage, my inner strength and I'm proud to be who I am.

I believe Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana.
A beautiful email forwarded by a dear friend...

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be - a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones. If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. Learn a lesson in life each day that you live! Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. Was it worth it?
Trust is an inner eye. Just as the two outer eyes are for seeing the universe, there is a third eye inside of you whose name is trust. With this eye of trust the divine is seen. The eye of trust means the eye of love. There are some things which only love can know. There is no other way to know them.

If you love someone you will see certain things in the person that no one else will see. You will see in that person a sweetness that no one else can see. That sweetness is delicate and the touch of love is needed for it, only then is it revealed. You will hear the echo of a song in that person that no one else will hear. To hear it one has to come closer than anyone else has come. Only you are that close.

This is why beauty begins to manifest in the person whom you love. The one you fall in love with begins to be beautiful – all of life’s grandeur, all of its dignity is revealed in the person. And it is not that you are imagining it.

As soon as the eye of love opens the invisible begins to be visible to you, the unperceivable begins to be perceivable. The presence of what is hidden begins to be experienced.

"Finding upon waking the doors yet bolted, Who knows by which door he enters and leaves.”

This is a very lovely couplet from Bihari. The beloved is sleeping with all the doors and windows of the room bolted, yet in her dreams her lover visits her. Later she wakes up and sees that the doors are still closed with the bolts in place, just as they were. Who knows how he enters and by which route he leaves?

“Which way do you enter, which way do you depart? From which window do you peep?” This window is called trust.

Someone living in logic will never know anything deeper than the material; his life will be meaningless. He may well collect money, but all his wealth will be left lying there when he dies and he will have missed meditation. And it is only meditation that will accompany you in death. Such a person will not attain the ultimate wealth. Only the one who has the eye of trust within attains the ultimate wealth.

Trust is the culmination of love. Trust is the faith that what has not already happened so far will happen. Trust also arises from what has already happened: there is such beauty in this universe, there is such light, such music…the throat of each bird is filled with song… There is beauty in each leaf, light in each star; this universe is so full of magnificence, there must be some energy or other behind it.

Trust means trusting that there must be some energy creating all this colour. Trust means trusting that where so much beauty is being showered, the source of such beauty must also exist. Trust means accepting the existence of the source from which you receive these subtle, delicate indications.

Excerpt from Die O Yogi Die. Courtesy: Osho International Foundation, www.osho.com
If ever something’s bothering me, or I just need some clarity, I sit down at my computer and have a written conversation with myself. I type out a question, then answer it as best I can. That usually leads to another question, and so I type another response. I continue like that until I come to some kind of resolution.

I’ve been doing this for a few years now and it has never failed to make me feel better about a situation and/or move me closer to a goal.

My conversations usually go one of two ways:

Devil’s Advocate – Basically, I interrogate myself, trying to poke holes in a theory or idea of mine to see if it stands tall or crumbles. I started doing this in college to find conceptual or design problems with websites I intended to build, before I actually built them.
Personal Shrink – If I’m feeling down about something, I act as my own personal psychiatrist, asking about the problem, what might have caused it, and how I can move forward. Whenever I do this, I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders.
Through these conversations I force myself to organize my thoughts. I drag them out of the fog of my mind and articulate them clearly in writing. That’s a very powerful thing to do. I can also refer back to what I wrote if I ever need to recall how I arrived at a certain decision or came to a particular conclusion.

Try conversing with yourself and see where it leads. Most likely you’ll gain some clarity and come to know yourself better.
Snow White and Prince Charming.
Romeo and Juliet.
Beauty and the Beast.
Harry and Sally.


These are all names that come to mind when one thinks of the term soul mate. The ancient belief can be found in cultures the world over. But what does the term soul mate actually mean?

In the dictionary, “soul mate” means one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view or sensitivity; someone for whom you have a deep affinity. This explains the basic qualities, but we all know the soul mate theory goes much deeper than that.

According to Celtic wisdom, our souls begin their journey together as one being that becomes broken apar t. Two souls emerge and move on into their life journeys. Perhaps we find our twin soul in this life. Maybe we find it in another life.

In order for our soul mate to appear we must be ready for them. You will not meet your soul mate if you are still coming from a place of fear or jealousy in relationships. You couldn’t run before you could walk, and you won’t meet your soul mate before you are ready to learn what she/he has to teach you. In order to find our soul mate, we must be emotionally secure and know what we want from life.

THREE KINDS OF SOUL MATES

Did you know there are three main kinds of soul mates?

They are: Karmic, Companion and Twin Flames. Study the different kinds and discover which category your soul mate falls under. This will give you a broader understanding of why he or she has come into your life. To help you, I will explain the differences.

KARMIC SOUL MATE

The karmic soul mate experience is very common. You can have many of these in a lifetime. They enter your life to teach you an important lesson. Karmic soul mates can be co-workers, family members or close friends. One young woman particularly close to me comes to mind. Her name is Amanda Jane, and she is about twenty years my junior. She jokes that I must be her mother from another life. What makes our friendship special is that we touch on a spiritual level.

I often wonder why Amanda was brought into my life. We are very close, but what lesson am I to learn from her? To enjoy life again? Amanda comes from a dysfunctional family. Am I here to teach her a lesson? Am I to show her that she is loved and cherished? It can and does work both ways.

Sometimes karmic soul mate relationships can be romantic in nature; but if so, they won’t last long. That is because these relationships are solely meant for learning lessons and for growth rather than for obtaining a life partner.

Another thing we must keep in mind is that not all karmic relationships are human. Sometimes, pets we consider to be special members of our family can display the same karmic characteristics as humans. An example of this is Avis Townsend’s story “Back With Eli” in the karmic section of the book. Ms. Townsend’s story shows there are special relationships we can have with our pets to the point where the bond between pet and human becomes so deep it’s hard to dismiss it as anything other than the true karmic soul mate relationship.

Another point to remember about karmic soul mates, as well as other kinds of soul mates, is that each one, whether human or animal, comes into our lives for a reason and to teach us a lesson about ourselves.

COMPANION SOUL MATE

A companion soul mate relationship can be a relationship that is romantic in nature. It involves your wife/husband or someone you are intimate with. Oftentimes, these soul mates are not destined to be with us forever but, like Karmic soul mates, are brought into our lives for a purpose.

It is possible to spend a lifetime with your companion soul mate if you haven’t met your twin soul. However, when the twin soul is found, the companion soul mate relationship could suffer. When this happens, the companion soul mate relationship is generally short-lived or, if it continues, a non-satisfying one. However, this is no reason to jump ship when it happens. Remember, there is a reason your companion soul mate is in your life (for example, so you can raise children together).

When your twin soul comes into your life and you are in a companion soul mate relationship, it is important that you take things slowly. It may be that the companion soul mate relationship will come to an end—or it may not. One thing you must keep in mind is that ending an existing relationship solely because one feels one has found one's twin soul is never a good idea, because over time you will realize that both associations are meant to be and both have an important role in your life.

An interesting aspect of the companion soul mate relationship is that we put more of our energies into it. The karmic soul mate relationship tends to go at an easy pace, without much effort from either partner, as it does with twin souls. The companion soul mate bond requires more work on our parts to sustain a healthy, loving atmosphere.

TWIN FLAMES

This is the highest form of soul mate connection. Your twin soul is your other half; to find your twin soul is like finding yourself. We go through our life searching and searching, and what we don’t realize is that we are looking for someone just like us. Sometimes, we find them in this life and, other times, in other lives.

I believe they are always around, but for some reason it is not apparent. Perhaps we close our eyes to them. We don’t listen and observe. We go through life at such a hectic pace we don’t stop and take in things that would otherwise be apparent, so the presence of a soul mate could hit us flat in the face and we wouldn’t even know it. This is sad, because we have missed that one, rare opportunity for total bliss and happiness.
1. Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked:

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others' affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God.. God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget:

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive,20Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition:

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yours if in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely.

4. Do Not Be Jealous:

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody's life is shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment:

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured:

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew:

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. . Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly:

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant:

An empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name.

10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret:

Do not waste time in protracted wondering " Should I or shouldn't I?" Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Why cry over split milk?

Another friend of mine, posted this note on her FB profile. Loved it and thought it should be mentioned here!
And a genie to my disposal..I wish you would be mine!!!
If I had you, all of you, ONLY to me.. what more would I want!!
If all that I want is YOU.. ONLY YOU.. what stops me from going all out and get you..
YOU.. the reason is you!!
Quit!! an easy word to say and write...but can I take a brush and paint it all white?
The colors.. black and blue
the color of pain and hurt
that makes me remember you..
Love is a noise
that clogs my head, my heart, my being
Time I danced to a different beat..
But who would give me the cue..
telling me the time is right
...when all I hear still is you..

This is a beautiful poem, a very close friend of mine wrote. I just loved it the moment I read it. It is a beautiful summary of her feelings. I hope she writes a nice book of poems one day!
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

This beautiful story came as an forwarded email to me, and it brought tears to my eyes. Do take out time to read it!
I thought I knew the melody,
When I heard you singing,
And when you smiled,
You made me feel like I could sing along,
But then you went and changed the words,
Now my heart is empty,
I'm only left with "used to be's" and "once upon a song".....
There’s a diagram in Steven Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that I always try to keep in mind. It looks like this:



The circles represent the two areas where you can focus your time and energy. The vast majority of people focus too much time and energy outside of their Circle of Influence, in their Circle of Concern. Such people typically worry about things they cannot control, such as the weather next weekend or war in the Middle East. Preoccupying yourself with issues like that is a huge waste of time and energy.

Covey notes that highly effective people think and act primarily within their Circle of Influence. They forget about the things over which they have no control, preferring to focus their time and energy on issues where they can actually make a difference. By doing this, they gradually expand their Circle of Influence as they earn more power and respect.

Where do you spend most of your time and energy?

If all you do is sit at home each evening, shaking your head as you watch crime reports on the local news, wondering what the world is coming to, you’re way out in your Circle of Concern. If you were working within your Circle of Influence, you’d be busy attending community action meetings, or volunteering to coach youth sports, providing leadership and guidance to build a better future for your community.

Whenever you’re getting worked up over something, ask yourself, “What can I do to change this situation for the better?” Figure out some good ideas and act on them. If you really can’t think of anything, realize that you’re wasting valuable time and energy worrying about the issue. Let it go, and redirect your resources to an area where you can actually make a difference.

Read this somewhere...
Yo, either you a part of the problem, or part of the solution
What’s your contribution to life?
So many people complain, always talk about change yo
But what’s your contribution to life?
Either you with or ain’t with it, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it
Yo what’s your contribution to life?
Either you give or you take, make moves or you wait yo
But what’s your contribution to life?
Standing by,
All the way.
Here to help you through your day.

Holding you up,
When you are weak,
Helping you find what it is you seek.

Catching your tears,
When you cry.
Pulling you through when the tide is high.

Just being there,
Through thick and thin,
All just to say, you are my friend.
Everyone has his or her own way of coping with the disappointment that comes from failure. Some people can easily pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and start over again. People who tend to be hard on themselves may create their own barriers to getting past failure. Many times we are truly our own toughest critics. Other people – our friends, family, and co-workers, are usually much more generous with compliments than we are with ourselves. Therefore, I keep a sheet of paper in my office in plain view with a list of positive adjectives describing me taken from letters of recommendation I've received over the years from colleagues, supervisors, and satisfied customers. I reflect on it regularly. Many of the words used to describe my professional strengths are words I wouldn't have necessarily chosen to describe myself.

My point is that we often overlook our strengths. This can also be said about failures. When things go wrong, especially in school or work, we often blame ourselves. Taking things personally such as failing an exam or a poor performance evaluation is a reaction based in emotion. It is challenging to avoid taking disappointments personally.

Time and Space

Allowing ourselves time for emotions is important provided there is a way to work through them. One step in letting go and moving on is having an objective viewpoint. A strategy in moving into an objective perspective is to de-personalize your viewpoint. Almost everything can be depersonalized. Doing this requires positive thinking and positive information to replace negative thoughts and negative information. Once you have experienced negative emotions that result from failure, you'll be better able to identify the information you will need to move on. People often say, "If I could do xyz over again, I would." This is because the emotional aspects of the failure are gone. It has become possible to use the new information they have discovered to increase their understanding.

We often rely on friends and family for sympathy and understanding. What we get from them is acceptance based on their love and caring for us regardless of our accomplishments or failures. If our friends and family can do this, we should be able to do this for ourselves.

Negative and Positive "Self Talk"

Being able to recognize any negative "self talk" that we do is important. It can be difficult, but it is essential in preparing for future challenges. Some women need to pay special attention to negative messages created in our own minds. While men and women are equally capable of negative "self talk" or having a failure mentality, more women seem to have this tendency. Because some of our conditioning allows negative images to enter our view of ourselves at an unconscious level, undoing these messages requires digging deeply. Even women, who seem successful, prosperous and generally confident, often respond to positive feedback with comments like, "It was a stroke of luck," " I've been so fortunate," or "I couldn't have done it without you."

While recognizing the assistance or support of others is important, too often our conditioning tells us to downplay our success for fear of seeming over confident. Unfortunately, it sends a mixed message that says, "I am not completely in control." This type of message is destructive and unproductive. It diminishes others' views of our competence. More importantly, the internal message it perpetuates is, "I am not completely in control of my failures either." I believe it is for this reason, women struggle more with moving out of the emotional trouble failure may cause in comparison to men. This is the underlying tenant of the failure mentality that should be understood, avoided, and reprogrammed by any means necessary. Sometimes confidence has to be re-built. Reminding oneself of accomplishments or the skills it took to achieve a goal is a good way to maintain a positive attitude toward future success.

Moving On

When a project fails or a promotion is denied, you may find yourself saying, "why did I think I could do that anyway?" The answer should be, " because given the right circumstances, the right information, resources, etc., I would have been successful." Making a clear assessment of what went wrong is very different from making excuses. If you begin the steps of understanding what went wrong and find yourself making excuses, you may need more time for letting go of the emotional aspect of what has occurred. Make sure you have really let go of the emotions attached to whatever has gone wrong for you before you begin preparing for your next challenge.